Teething

The signs of teething has been there for weeks: excessive drooling, runny poops from all that saliva, rosy pink cheeks, and the extra love for Sophie (Olly fit 3 legs in his mouth at the same time). Finally you could feel extra sharp ridges on the bottom gums. He woke up about every 2 hrs at night and would only nap for one cycle (40mins) for 4 days. Now they are finally here! Two glorious bottom teeth.

So glad to revert to 3 hr cycles at night. It could be better but 2 hrs makes you way more tired!

Month 5

Rolling

Olly has been leaning to the right. Each time he inches closer and closer to the floor. Several times he almost made it all the way but promptly returned to the center. On the last day of November he finally did it! He touched the floor with his head and rolled onto his back. He seemed a bit surprised himself. I encouraged him to do it again so I can capture it but he was camera shy or maybe too exhausted from the previous roll. This is as far as he got:

Now he's pretty much mastered this move but only on his right. I'm trying to get him to roll back to his front on the right too so he can cancel his moves out. However he is more interested in doing push ups and moving backwards these days.

Elimination Communication

We have moved up to a potty! He is getting so strong and heavy (21lbs) that it's impossible to keep a strong hold on him if he starts squirming on the toilet seat. The last straw was when he wanted to do a backflip off the toilet and almost did it before I caught him. The first few time on the potty was messy and discouraging because the splatter guard didn't block any pee and it just went all over the floor. David told me I need to pull him back as much as possible and tilt him forward. It helps to have something in front to distract him since he is all about grabbing things! I let him pull a wipe out for me and take him off immediately. I'm hoping he will associate the two and in the future will only pull on the wipe if he's done. In case you are curious we are using the Ikea Lilla potty. That's right $4! David likes to use the bigger one (Lockig) which is easier to clean since it comes apart but I think it's too wide. I just use a spray bottle to rinse it.

First Words

He was playing on the mat and suddenly stopped playing, looked at me and said BOO BOO. The b's were formed very slowly and deliberately. I immediately understood he was saying POO POO. I said poo poo slowly back to him so he can see me forming the p's. I took him to the potty and he did a big poop. On that particular day he also only used two diapers for the whole day, a new record! It was a great day.

Car Seat

After having to bend his legs Cirque du Soleil style too many times I decided it was time to switch out of an infant car seat. The limit is 22lbs and he was a little over 20lbs at the time. He is much happier now but still doesn't really like car rides. I remember when I was reading about infant car seats it said on average they last about a year. The second stage car seat we have can be used by infants but after knowing how tiny babies can be I have no regrets using an infant car seat even though it was only for 5 months.

Laughter

Baby laughter. Highlight of my day!

It's the most wonderful feeling when he looks at you and smiles, which is pretty much 100% of the time. Then you start to laugh, which makes him laugh, and soon everyone is laughing.

He laughs the most when David kisses his neck and when I do blue steel or say "spin, spin, spin!". Although if he's in a happy mood he will laugh if you laugh.

I just want time to stand still right now. He's growing up so fast and starting to become his own little man! There's one more week till he's 6 months old so we will be starting solids soon. He's already had a tiny taste of a smoothie that he grabbed from David and I gave him a teeny bit of banana and pear. He can sit up unassisted for a good 15 seconds before he topples over. We are also going to start sleep training over the Christmas break which means he will start sleeping in his crib instead of snugly beside me. I don't think I'm mentally ready for him to leave the bed but he's starting to hit me with his hands and waking up dad so it needs to be done! I'm so sad just thinking about it. Everything is going so fast. What happened to my dependent immobile baby? Sigh.

I'm ready for drumsticks mom!

Storytime for Babies

Olly and I finally made it to Storytime for Babies at Metrotown Library. It was the very last one of the season but at least we made it! There were probably 10 other moms/dads/grandparents with their little ones. We sat around in a circle with a volunteer that led us in song for about half an hour. We sang lots of nursery rhymes I did not know and we even sang in Korean and Mandarin. I was impressed.

I had so much fun I really can't wait to go in January when it starts up again and I think Olly will be at an age where he will be more interested too. The best part about the schedule is that there are two sessions one after the other so if you miss the first one due to naps or whatever you can still make it to the second one. 

The schedule for Spring 2016 is:

Tuesdays, January 19 to March 1
10:00 am and 10:45am
http://www.bpl.bc.ca/events/storytime-for-babies-at-metrotown-3

In the meantime I took a printout of the songs and we will be singing our little hearts out everyday.

Queen Elizabeth Park

Queen Elizabeth Park is kind of in the middle of Vancouver so it's a good midpoint between my Vancouver friends and I. I've been there once before with my mom and it was really nice so I decided to meet up with Jessica and 6 month old Abigail for a walk.

Parking

There's free parking for 2 hours at Hillcrest Community Centre across the street from the park. We were going to eat at the pub in the centre but it was closed so we ended up going to Seasons in the Park instead.

Seasons in the Park

I can't believe I've never heard of the views from this place. It's amazing! I would definitely want to take out of towners here. We got to have the whole patio to ourselves. The trek to the place from Hillcrest is a bit steep but it's a nice work out.

The Park

After some yummy burgers for lunch we started to walk around the park and when I say around I literally mean on the border of. Going around in a stroller has definitely made me much more aware of the accessibility of places for people in wheelchairs. The only stroller friendly portion of the park was on the outside perimeter. We didn't see any way of going into the center where the main fauna was. It is also only wide enough for one stroller. It was really quick to do the whole thing and by then our car was pushing our 2 hour limit so we had to go back anyway.

Rating

Not so good for strollers. Would go back wearing baby instead. Seasons in the Park was a great lunch spot though! 

Bowen Island

Bowen Island is only an hour away from Burnaby (30 minute drive plus 30 minute ferry ride), so the short travel time makes it a great first family staycation. David surprised me with the trip on my birthday. He is the best!

Baby fell asleep on the ferry. Perfect.

Bowen Island

When we first arrived at the B&B, I heard some rustling in the bushes below on my way to the suite. I looked down and there was a deer a few feet away! We just stared at each other for awhile trying to figure out who startled who. I went back to get David who was in the car with Olly and motioned for him to come look. Going back to the same spot we saw a fawn instead and the mama deer was close behind. I didn't get a picture of it but it was a magical start to our vacation.

There's not a lot to do on the island except relax, eat, and hike. There is only one area with restaurants right near the ferry terminal so our weekend consisted of sleeping at our B&B and driving to the ferry terminal for every meal. The restaurants close before 9pm so you better get dinner early! Our favourite dinner place was Tuscany Pizza and favourite lunch place was Artisan Cafe.

Tuscany Pizza - good pizza!

On the way back to the B&B from Tuscany Pizza we gave way to a deer on the road.

Cars in the country lookalike this

The baby always napped around lunch time so David picked up food and brought it back to eat in. That's what vacation is like with a baby...you rent a bedroom to eat in! Here's Olly napping on the king bed. I took this picture thinking he would look small on the bed but he looks pretty big. The king bed is actually two twins next to each other with a foam wedge. His butt fits in the gap well. There's so much space on a king bed, what luxury!

I'm just going to nap through all the daylight

By the time baby wakes up it's pretty much dusk and there's not a lot of light left. Luckily the B&B is surrounded by trees so you feel like you're in a forest anyway. There is a trail to the lake nearby but we hiked about 5 mins on the trail before we headed back. Still, good walk!

Quick! Lets fit in a hike before it's completely dark!

We checked out at 11am and went for another walk around the area. There was a house at the end of the long driveway with horses in their "yard" and the girl was just getting ready to go riding with her friends. We stopped to marvel at her horse. I was way more excited about the horse than Olly.

People own horses here. 

We then drove along the main road and headed to the south part of the island to the beach. There's not much of a beach but it's a nice view. We ate some fig bars in the car and drove to the art gallery area.

South end of the island.

Family pic at Artisan Cafe

View from Artisan Cafe of Squamish?

Great first staycation! BC is so beautiful I hope to explore more of the islands. I heard Salt Spring Island is very nice.

First Halloween

I went to Metrotown to try to get a last minute costume for him but the clerk at Old Navy said they didn't even carry costumes this year. There were none in Gymboree either. We needed to go grocery shopping and it was 8pm so I didn't want to wander for a costume. We just picked up a cute hat from Old Navy.

I breastfed on the benches outside Superstore. A mom with her kid in a carrier literally walked past me then backtracked and said "Good on you for feeding your kid in public! Not a lot of moms do this." I smiled and said thanks. It wasn't a big deal to me. How can a mom not feed their hungry child? When I thought about it I don't really remember the last time I saw any public breastfeeding. I made a mental note to make sure I say some encouraging words next time I see a breastfeeding mom. It turned out Olly was not in the mood for food and had a fit of giggles instead. Under the Udder Cover he just kept on laughing with my nipple in his mouth. His laugh made me laugh and I guess my laughing made him laugh more. It was the first time he laughed like that.

For his first Halloween Olly was a painter. I used the hat and pulled out a suit he had which I didn't expect to fit him yet. It was almost too small! We entered into David's work Halloween contest. Here we are as "Painting a Pompous Person":

4 Month Shots

Four month shots were just like the two month ones. Two days of fever followed by a week and a half of diarrhea. I watched him pass diarrhea on the change table. It looks like green foam coming out of his butt. Poor baby butt. This time David held Olly and I was less emotional inside. It helps that he only cried when he gets the shots and not in between.

I don't know how single moms do it

On Friday David stayed until 10pm at work. Mind you it was optional and I was a bit miffed he didn't even bother to ask me. Not that I would have said no but it would have been nice if my opinion mattered. Anyway it was the first time I had to take care of the baby by myself for a whole day. Around 7.30pm I put him down for the night and around 7:45pm I started making dinner for myself. Usually he would be good for at least 3 hours but of course at 8pm he woke up while I was in the middle of cooking. I turned off the two burners and went to console him. Once he was picked up he stopped crying but then I couldn't put him down without tons of tears. I tried the swing, the armchair, the playmat, the carpet, and nothing but my arms would satisfy. He would sense if I was sitting down so I had to stand and rock. After half an hour I was starving and my arms were dying. I was SO hungry. It was impossible to cook and hold him since he is 20lbs. I decided to put him down and suffer through the crying. I started the burners again under the cold half cooked meal and sure enough he started wailing. I started resenting my dear husband for forcing me to make a choice between neglecting my child or starving myself. I couldn't take the crying so I held him and started feeling sorry for myself. People who know me know how little I swear but I let out a loud, long F*** which alarmed the baby. I held him tightly and cried myself. It sucked. Immediately I told myself to snap out of it. My life is so freaking easy compared to the rest of the world. Eventually he fell asleep. I promised him I will never swear like that again.

Deer Lake Park

Seeing as we are in Autumn now and the weather is getting cooler and rainier, I like to head outside any time there is the smallest ray of sunshine.

A friend and I decided to meet up at Deer Lake Park.

Parking

The best free parking is on the east side of the lake. It is at the end of Sperling Avenue right beside the boat rentals and swings. It's a huge lot and there are benches with a wide view of the lake for you to enjoy while you wait. It is also the start of the trail around the lake.

First time seeing ducks.

The trail is quite narrow and will not fit two strollers across so you will have to stagger them. There is a nice playground when you get to the north end of the lake which is great for older children. We ended up spending most of our time there instead of walking around the lake. 

View going back to the parking lot

Getting chilly

Rating 

It is a nice stroll for you and your baby. The trail veers off to the street sometimes so you are not always around the lake. Not good for two strollers if you want to walk and talk. Nice views of Burnaby.

Month 3

This month is my favourite baby month so far because he has finally started laughing and if you are really funny you might get some adorable chuckles.

His mouth is pretty much open all the time but the big smiles come when:

• I pat his palms
• I stroke his face with my hair
• I dangle a blanket above him
• I make loud hiccup noises

He started drooling and it's like stringy cheese on pizza. It just keeps on stretching! I also finally realized what those baby bibs are for.

On the playmat he likes to grab onto the dog and tries to put the feet into his mouth. He's just a few centimeters too far so it's hilarious to watch him with his mouth open expecting to feel something. The mirror also gets stuck on his face and that is pretty exciting for him too.

As part of his newly developed grabbing skills he will grab the closest thing to him which is usually your neck fat. 

Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina

Relationships

Brain cares about survival before learning, they need to feel safe in order to learn.

Hostility between parents can harm newborn's developing brain and nervous system. Empathy reduces hostility. Make empathy a reflex:
1. Describe the emotional changes you think you see
2. Make a guess as to where those emotional changes came from

Most common sources of marital turbulence: sleep loss, social isolation, unequal distribution of household workload, and depression. Be aware, respond with empathy.

Smart Baby

1. Breastfeeding is brain boosting
2. Talk to baby - variety matters. Parentese helps: high pitched tone, sing song voice and stretched vowels
3. Guided play everyday which focuses on impulse control and self regulation. Tools of the Mind classroom: preschoolers fill in a play plan of what they will be doing during the play "I'm going to make a Lego castle and pretend I'm a knight", kids receive direct, open ended mechanics of pretending "I'm pretending my baby is crying. Is yours? What should we say?" At the end of the week they list what they experienced and what they learnt.

Praise effort not intelligence. "I'm so proud of you. You must have really studied hard"

Each additional hour of TV watched by a child under 3 increases likelihood of attentional problem by age 7 by 10%. No TV before 2 (even second hand TV distracts kids from their play). After age 5 TV can improve learning like Dora the Explorer. Watch the show with your kid, interacting with the media, helping them to analyze and think critically about what they just experienced.

Video games are played sitting down. Important to do aerobic exercise (increases executive brain function from 50% to 100%). Even better to exercise with children.

Happy Baby

Your infant needs you to watch, listen, and respond. Do not smother as they need to learn how to regulate their own emotions (through you labelling the emotion) and for independent play.

Labeling emotions is neurologically calming. Empathy makes good friends (relationships is number one predictor of happiness in people)

Parents who raise happy kids have four attitudes towards emotions:
They do not judge emotions - no emotion is good or bad
They acknowledge the reflexive nature of emotions - don't deny the existence of your child's emotions
They know that behaviour is a choice, even though an emotion is not
They see a crisis as a teachable moment - you never want a serious crisis to go to waste, potential catastrophe becomes potential lesson

Two tons of empathy:
To defuse a meltdown you acknowledge the child's feelings and empathize. Emotions are contagious, empathy calms the nerves.

If 30% of your interactions with your child are empathetic, you will raise a happy kid.

Moral Baby

Goal of moral development: willingness to make the right choices and to withstand pressure to make the wrong ones, even in the absence of a credible threat or the presence of reward.

Loss of emotion = loss of decision making. Proven by loss/damage to ventromedial and polar prefrontal cortices.

Need all 3:
Clear, consistent rules and rewards - visible chart for rules can help, must be warm when administering rules, every time your child follows the rules you offer praise, praising the absence of bad behaviour is just as important as praising the good.

Discipline: negative reinforcement and punishment

Punishment - must be swift (child learns faster), aversive, consistent (between all care-givers), emotionally safe (kid should feel oh they actually care about me). Punishment suppresses behaviour but not the knowledge of how to misbehave so need to teach what the proper behaviour should be. You risk counterproductivity if punish incorrectly.

Explaining the rules - important to explain the rationale of rule and its consequences, might offer how it effects others, what principles are good etc (inductive parenting)

Adapt discipline strategy to child's temperament

Spanking - 3 yr olds spanked more than twice in a month were 50% more likely to be aggressive by age 5. Spanking is more likely to trigger deferred imitation instincts than moral internalization. Inductive parenting takes effort, spanking does not. Spanking is lazy parenting?

Elimination Communication

Elimination communication (also referred to as the diaper free baby movement) is really common in China. It's what my mom did for my sister and I and it's what her mom did for her and her 3 siblings. The idea is that you take your kid to pee over the toilet or the potty at a very early age and associate the action with a sound like shhhh or pee-pee. You consistently do this so that sooner or later you can cue the sound and your baby will understand you want them to pee. As an added bonus you use less diapers as most of the business is done on the toilet and they will likely be potty trained around a year and a half as opposed to two or three.

1 month

I tried to do EC with Olly around 1 month and held him in a cradle hold over the sink. I did manage to catch some pee but the sink was a bit too high for me to secure the hold for very long. At this age it was really hard to decipher his noises to know when he needs to go, and with the added disadvantage of no head control I decided it was too early for EC.

2 months

At 2 months old he can hold his head up pretty well and would often pee while I was changing him after he wakes up. So instead of cleaning up after the spray of pee on the table and on his clothes and on his face we thought "let's just take him to the toilet!".  David and I started to sit him on the toilet seat facing the back of the toilet and sing "pee pee pee pee peeeeeeee". If he poops I say "poo poo poo poo poooo". After catching some pee and poo in the morning I was addicted!

From then on I watched him carefully and started to take note of when his diaper pee indicator turned blue. It was usually after breastfeeding and about 30 mins after that. He often cried or scrunched up his face or made some kind of sound before he needed to go. So I just started taking him whenever he made those cues. Sometimes you guess right and sometimes you guess wrong but catching a poop is sometimes the highlight of my day!

On a good day we might only use one diaper all morning but more often than not there would be a tiny poop squirt. So even if the diaper had no pee I would need to throw it away.

3 months

After a month of EC, I noticed a few times where he would pee right after I pulled the diaper off and his butt touched the seat. Is the baby making an effort to hold his pee until he's on the toilet? It could be a coincidence but I'd like to believe he's learning! I hoped he wasn't holding his pee too much because I can't take him all the time.

At 3 months old he started being a lot more vocal in general and especially on the toilet. Sometimes he would cry when we take him and push off with his legs. At first I thought he didn't want to be there so I would take him off, but sometimes he would pee or poo right after. It really made it difficult to decide whether to keep him on for just a little more while he's crying his head off. Anyway that has made a damper on the EC experience but to balance it out when I think he needs to go I say "pee pee?" and he will smile as if to say "you understand me mamma!"

4 months

Everyday after he wakes up he will have his morning pee and usually 3 squirts of poop. There is a lot of time between the poop squirts so I might be kneeling there for 10-15 mins. I got a plush bath mat from Costco to make it nicer on the knees.

He is definitely communicating to me when he needs to go. I've had several times where he would stop breastfeeding, look straight at me and try to say something. I slowly mouth the words pee-pee and he tries to make the same shape with his mouth. I say "pee pee?" again and he would smile. Twice I took him when he didn't smile back and he didn't have any pee! I think poo-poo is probably easier to say so I will try to do that.

Month 2

6 weeks
Olly has more expressive coos and louder cries. He only talks in the morning after his fart session around 5am everyday.

7 weeks
Followed my face for the first time as I switched sides breastfeeding. He also loves to stand and sit so much so that I started to use it as an anti-fussing mechanism. Apparently you shouldn't put their weight on their legs yet since their hip joints are still developing so I support most of his weight while he "stands".

8 weeks
Usually when he lies on the play mat he is just looking at things. Now he has discovered his arms and legs and will move them up and down with much excitement and vigor. While he is doing this he is hitting the dangly toys but I don't think it is intentional. It does encourage him to do it more though.

In the morning he is very enamored by the light rays on the ceiling. Sometimes he is so happy about it you start to think is he being entertained by angels? He is still waking up at 5am to fart.

Staring at the ceiling.

Month 1

I started being able to handle Olly on my own around 3 weeks which means David could go out and get groceries or something. After 4 weeks he went back to work and I was left alone with the baby. I still needed meals to be pre-made so all I needed was to microwave it.

The key issue at this stage was to get the baby to nap during the day. I would feed him and he'd fall asleep. I would wait about 15 mins until he's in deep sleep and I would gingerly lift him up and put him ever so carefully into the bassinet, the crib, or the bed. A few seconds after I put him down, he would detect my absence and start crying. The internet told me that this was almost a self-preserving instinct so that they are not left alone. Your warmth and the sound of your heartbeat keeps them feeling safe and secure.

Sleeping on me. Happy as a clam.

Why did you put me down??

That's great internet but sometimes mommy needs to shower or eat or go to the washroom!
At some point I started feeding him on the bed and rolling away ninja style. This worked for awhile but it was harder to get a proper latch feeding on the bed.

Then I tried to put him swaddled in a swing. This seemed to work better than the bed. He would stay asleep and napped longer than the bed. It worked for about a week and I was very relieved but in the end sleeping on mommy was still the best.

After reading some articles where mommies reminisce about this short and precious time where they'd sleep on you, I started to really treasure having him on me. Netflix saved the day and I would binge watch Homeland, Downton Abbey and Modern Family while he slept.

Sometimes we'd get into situations like this:

Eating fried rice for lunch

Now that he's 3 months old and can sleep on his own I DO really miss having him on me. It's not the same now that he's a lot bigger and can barely fit across the armchair.

First 2 Weeks

We drove our tiny baby home around midnight. It seemed so surreal to be sitting next to a baby, our baby, in the back of the car. I just watched him flutter his tiny eyelids as the orange glow from the lamp posts flickered past.

Sleep Or The Lack Thereof

For the first week to say I was exhausted was an understatement. I have never been more tired in my life! Since I went into labour at 10pm I didn't get to sleep that night and then afterwards there is no way you can choose sleep when you've waited almost a year to meet this marvel you've made. I didn't want to miss a second! Unfortunately that means you're pretty much running on 3 hours of sleep a day. Sooner or later it catches up to you and you start operating more like a zombie than a human being.

You've probably heard that babies sleep a lot. Yes they do but it's not in one session. It's split up in 12 sessions so you need to get up every 2 hours and feed and change diapers. When the baby falls asleep here is when you need to fit in sleep for yourself, food, pain meds, sitz baths, and in a blue moon, a shower. There is no time to cook so having pre-made meals is essential. We were so fortunate to have a meal train for the second week from our church group. It was an amazing blessing and if you know new parents this is probably the best way to help (bring fruits with the meal!).

Olly slept in the bassinet in the beginning. No one recommends cosleeping since it increases the chance for SIDS. However, every parent I've talked to cosleep or at least do so in the early weeks. Soon I began to realize the utter exhaustion of running on a 2 hour cycle and getting the baby out and back in was just impractical. It wasn't long before I just put him next to me and dozed off while he fed. 

Breastfeeding

The baby was latching on well although I had more trouble on the left side than the right. I would randomly get shooting pains not during breastfeeding and thought I had thrush. Also, I would all of a sudden start shivering like I just came out of a glacial lake. My teeth would chatter and you'd find me curled up under the covers while I waited for it to pass. There were a lot of tears during the first few days as you deal with the crying baby and your emotions. All of this is apparently normal since your hormones are going haywire while your milk is coming in.

Olly had jaundice up to his chest on the first midwife visit. However he was waking himself up every 3 hours so I was not worried. By the third day he started dozing off while feeding and it was harder and harder to actively feed for at least 10 mins on each breast. I was probably doing 5 or less.

Marijke came for the second midwife visit. His jaundice has crept down to his navel now. She weighed him and determined he has lost 11% of his body weight since birth. 6-10% is normal but 11% is worrisome. He was not getting enough food. The problem with jaundice is that it makes babies tired. Tired baby results in less food since the sucking is what stimulates milk production. Less food results in a weak baby and the jaundice gets worse. This makes baby more tired and the vicious cycle continues. My milk was not coming in fast enough so that was not helping either. We were immediately put on a plan.

I started to cry as she talked about how David needs to go out and rent a hospital-grade double breast pump. I felt this was all my fault, that I have failed my child in the first week of life! Maybe if I didn't doze off while he was feeding we would not be in this predicament. It was hard enough working on a 3 hours schedule with just feeding, now we have to do so many more steps. I had to hand express milk and pump after trying to feed and David needed to feed that extra milk from the previous session to Olly through a syringe. It was imperative that we wake the baby up if he's sleeping and use methods like a cold cloth or ice if he's unresponsive.

Syringe feeding

We were following this for a while but Olly's sleepiness was not getting any better. On our worst night he would hardly even respond to ice. It took more than 1.5 hours to coax him into actively feeding for 5 mins. Looking at the schedule there would be no time for sleep if we tried to get him to feed for 5 more. David made the executive decision to stop trying and just do the top up. I reluctantly gave in. In the wee hours in the morning we noticed the baby's arms turning blue, like blueberry blue. I called Patricia on emergency page. I know we're not supposed to call unless it's a real emergency but I was so scared. She said as long as he wasn't blue on his chest or on his lips it should be ok. She asked us to give him some formula top up. Thank goodness for the free liquid formula Nestle sent us! She also gave me permission to not have to finish 10 mins of feeding on each breast. Do what you can for an hour and start pumping she said. This allowed us to get some more sleep although not much. 

From then on the routine added syringe feeding of formula as well. Anything that touches formula like bottles and syringes need to be boiled for 10 mins before use. Did I mention this was the hottest summer ever and our apartment was already 31 degrees without boiling anything? Anyway the formula really saved the day. I know breast is best but formula does save lives when breast milk is not available.

Eventually my milk came in around day 8. We weaned off the formula, then the pumping and Olly gained back his weight by the second week. He's been growing non stop ever since!

Baby

In the morning I felt some rhythmic cramps but they were so light I didn’t think much of it. Once I went to the washroom I noticed some bloody show and it was goopy when I wiped. This I figured was the mucus plug which according to the midwife doesn’t really indicate much. You could give birth soon after or weeks after. My due date was in two days.

On the same night around 10pm I felt the same sensations again while watching a movie. It felt just like period cramps but sharper. I always imagined contractions would feel like your foot cramping up in a cold pool but it was less painful than that, at least at first. It started getting stronger and David got very excited. I didn’t want to get disappointed if it wasn’t the real thing so I remained nonchalant and continued watching the movie but used an app to time to contractions. They were pretty irregular so I continued to watch the movie. After about an hour they started getting stronger and more regular so I took a tylenol and gravol to see if I can get some sleep. Maybe I was in early labour after all! This was phase 1 of the pain: mild and tolerable.

Last night with a baby bump

Sleep did not come so I passed the time by tracking the contractions. I was very jealous of David snoozing soundly beside me. Eventually around 5am it started getting intense enough that I couldn’t just lie there anymore (phase 2) so I woke David up. I needed to start using the techniques they taught us in our prenatal class to deal with the pain: ohming, object focusing, moving around with an exercise ball, warm bath, and massage. I really liked the massage with the pool noodle in the class but when it came to the real thing I hated it. The bath was nice at first but pretty soon any skin not touching the water was cold and I hated that too. The only thing that really worked was “ohming” where you focus on the release of your breath and make a deep groaning sound. After a few hours of managing those contractions, the intensity went up another notch (phase 3) where I really needed someone beside me for the contractions. David held me for the standing supported squat position but my legs were jello and it was impossible to support myself that way. I could only squat on all fours. Contractions have been 1 minute long, every 3-4 minutes for the past 2 hours and with the increased intensity, this was when we decided to page our midwife team on urgent. It was nerve racking waiting for the call back. To my delight, Patricia called us back. She asked if I felt pressure down below and I did. As I had no idea how much progress we’ve made into the labour, we decided to meet her at the hospital. Now I was finally excited! It’s really happening. I wasn’t sure if I could tolerate not being able to go on all fours during the trip to the hospital but it was ok. We just breathed through the contractions down the elevator and into the car. There was a lady waiting for the elevator at P2. I remember wondering about whether she realized I was in labour or not and if not, it must be weird listening to me wailing. We couldn’t bring the car seat since I needed David to support me.

We went through the emergency entrance at Burnaby hospital and David gave them my documentation. They were pretty fast at bringing me a wheelchair and I was taken to the maternity ward straight away while David stayed behind to deal with the paperwork. I was glad we did a tour of the hospital beforehand because it made me more relaxed as I knew what to expect. Patricia was already at the maternity ward front desk when they wheeled me there and I was so happy to be now in the hands of the professionals. She asked the nurse to dim the lights in my room and then David joined us.

The rest of the morning is pretty much a daze with all that oxytocin coursing through my veins. I remember jazz music helped me relax. I rotated between the hospital bed, on the floor next to the armchair, and the shower. Nothing was really that great. I did like that you could raise the head of the hospital bed which is a 1-up from home. It was very painful but with David’s help I loudly groaned through it all. Patricia brought us some peanut butter on toast and some juice. At some point I heard the screams of another mom and eventually her baby’s first cry and I so wished I was at that stage. Time passed. It took 3 hours to go from 4 cm to 7 cm. Eventually I wanted to try the shower again. The water was warm but then I felt extra warmth flowing from me. I figured my water broke at that point. Everything got way more intense after that.

This was the start of the real pain! All the tactics and positions previous to this no longer helped. The feeling was just all consuming. I couldn’t concentrate on my breathing. I couldn’t stay still. I couldn’t escape. I knew there was 3 cm left and judging by the last 3 cm, there was no way I could last 3 more minutes of this let alone 3 more hours! I just started to lose it. I begged Patricia to just give me something, anything! I didn’t want an epidural but wasn’t there anything else they could give me? There was nothing. I remember my friend said they got a shot of morphine during their birth. What about morphine? She said she would need to run an IV. She suggested I try the laughing gas. I stuck the mouth piece in my mouth and tried to breathe but it was just too hard to deal with this awkward thing in my mouth with the worst pain I’ve felt in my life at the same time. Can’t anyone see I was dying? I think at this point I really started to panic because I really didn’t want any interventions but this was just impossible. What made it harder was that I wanted to push so badly but I couldn’t because I wasn’t fully dilated yet. I just begged her to help me and she managed to calm me down a bit by talking me through it and focusing on breathing out. She said it was a safe pain, that I was not being harmed, take deep slow breaths, and to release all my tension every time I breathed out. Eventually I calmed down and she asked me to try to last another half hour and then she will check on me again. In this half hour it took everything to resist the urge to push. At some point I couldn’t hold it any longer. Things were just coming out of me! Poops that is. Poor David had to wipe my bum. I was so embarrassed. We’re too young for him to be doing that! Finally Patricia checked me and she surprisingly said I was fully dilated and I can start pushing at the height of the pain. What height of the pain? It was at the peak 100% of the time! So I just pushed and remembered those kegel exercises and tried to push with those muscles. I have no idea how long I pushed but it didn’t seem long.

At some point Patricia asked me to move to the bed and lie on my back. I was surprised because all the videos we saw of natural births had the woman on all fours so that gravity can help. She told me to bend my legs and curve my back to help the baby. I then felt what people call the ring of fire and she said I could put my hand down and feel the baby’s head coming through. I felt wet hair on something firm. Wow! I think I made 2 big pushes for the head and 1 for the shoulder and he was out! David caught him. They immediately put him on my chest and started rubbing the white stuff off him. I was mostly feeling disbelief than anything. Just overwhelmed with general emotion, whatever that means. He didn’t cry but just made tiny whimpering noises. Usually in the movies they cry a lot but Patricia said it was nothing to worry about. I couldn’t believe that he was here, I am finally going to be a mom. I pushed the placenta out while baby was lying on me and David cut the rubbery umbilical cord with a pair of scissors. Patricia made sure the bleeding was normal and then proceeded to examine “the damage”. I had second degree lacerations in an upside down v shape which needed about 6 stitches. The laughing gas was finally useful and I breathed that dry air while she added the stitches. It doesn’t take the pain away, you just get drowsy and out of it so you care less about what’s going on. I almost breathed in too much and fell asleep. Dad and baby got some quality bonding time during the stitches. 

It was very important that I pee after all this. If I couldn’t, they would put a catheter in to drain the liquid out of the bladder. While I tried to pee, baby had his head measured and reflexes checked. He had a strong grasping reflex but had a weak sucking reflex. I didn’t end up peeing because I figured I didn’t really drink a lot of liquid in the last 12 hours. So we weighed the baby. He was 6 lbs 8 oz, bigger than I expected. He sucked on my breast for a bit for that liquid gold they talk about (colostrum). I swear they weren’t producing anything but apparently they are. After having some breakfast in my tummy and some liquids I finally peed and we left the delivery room to our hospital room.

Third Trimester

The 3rd trimester was uneventful except for a bout of tonsillitis. There were no other symptoms other than the searing pain every time I swallowed. The internet suggested garlic, turmeric, lemon, and honey. I boiled some garlic and tumeric water and to my surprise it was pretty soothing! Eventually I lost my voice for 2 days. I held out another week and eventually decided I should see the doctor. He said there is a little fluid in my right lung but nothing to be worried about and I didn’t require any antibiotics so just wait it out. All in all it took about 3 weeks to heal.

While a lot of people complain of swollen feet and back ache in the last trimester I had none of those symptoms. Hashtag blessed! I really tried to go swimming regularly but only made it out a handful of times, same goes for prenatal exercises. My extended health dollars came in handy and I really enjoyed getting massage therapy about every other week. Most people commented on how small I was but all the measurements were normal so I guess the baby is just the perfect size for my tiny frame.

Orange drink for gestational diabetes test

We took a 7 week prenatal class at the Childbearing Society and it was pretty informative about the birth. I really enjoyed the birthing videos and the exercise in pain management. The only thing I wish they touched more on was how to take care of a baby after the birth. Here was a demonstration of what is involved in a c-section.

I took 2 weeks off for maternity leave with grand plans to clean the apartment, make tons of food for when the baby comes, and nest. In the end I made 3 things: carnitas, meatballs and something else that I don’t remember. I felt so guilty of not making more food but I was just so tired.

Tip: I should start making and freezing food way earlier and only take 1 week off. 

Week 25 Movement

I feel the baby move throughout the day but it’s cool to watch your belly and see it move. He likes to chill on the right side or sometimes down below. On Tues I watched it in the morning and you can feel the stirring match with the skin getting raised. On Wed it was happening again so I showed David. He sang to the baby and it kept on moving. I tried to capture it on video the next day but I guess it got camera shy.

Belly 25cm. Blood pressure 90/60. Low but not alarming. Midwife says to try to snack throughout the day on protein and veggies. This eating thing is getting frustrating because baby is taking up all the space so I can only eat about half of what I normally eat. Also snacking is never as awesome as a meal so I’m not used to it. So much for eating for two. Lies!

Week 23 Itchy

The right side of the tummy has been insanely itchy. It’s more than just dry skin since the entire region has raised red bumps. After looking it up it turns out its PUPPPs (that’s a lot of p’s). Statistically 1 percent of pregnant people get this. For once I get to be among the 1 percent. The Thyme stretch mark cream doesn’t seem to help. I’ve been putting Bio Oil on it instead which seems to be OK.

On the worst night I prayed that God will heal it. It disappeared the next morning. :)

Getting up to pee exactly 4 times a night and also very thirsty.

Week 22 Stinky

Pregnancy farts are a little between rotten eggs and diarrhea. You do not want to be anywhere close to them. It came upon us so suddenly there was no escape. How does it get that foul?

Week 21 Ultrasound

After almost peeing my pants the last time I had an ultrasound, which was like 5 years ago due to some pain on my side, I learnt that it's better to time the water intake to account for the appointment being late. 

I drank 2 cups of water 30 mins before the appointment and it worked perfectly.

I went into the room first. The technician wanted to do all the measurements before the dad was allowed in. I tried to watch what she was doing but the angle was too awkward. She told me the baby was moving a lot, so much so she was having trouble getting the right images for the measurements. However, she reassured me that everything looks really good. After she was done, David was called in. 

Unfortunately we were not allowed pics in the room because it's considered a medical examination. It's too bad because it's the coolest moment of parenthood so far and must be even more so for David.

The first thing we saw was a cross section of the baby and it was opening and closing its mouth. The technician said it was drinking amniotic fluid. I didn't even know they did that! Next was the beating heart with the valves opening and closing. We saw the full spine and the inside of the corpus callosum of the brain. It was surreal seeing the baby move and kick and feeling it at the same time. She asked us if we wanted to know the gender and we did indeed. I asked her to show me instead of telling me and there was no mistaking that it was a boy! 

We already had a girl's name (Evelyn) because we had the hardest time agreeing on a boy's name. This is going to be hard but I'm just happy to hear everything's ok.

Week 22 (actually 21) Midwife

Now that I’m big enough they’re starting to measure my belly. It measured 22 cm which apparently should coincide with the number of weeks I am. However, after reviewing my ultrasound measurements, I’m apparently 21 weeks which means the new due date is June 22nd.

She also revealed that the umbilical cord is on the marginal edge of the placenta. This is common but it is something they will want to keep an eye on. So I will have an ultrasound in the 3rd trimester afterall. Maybe we can sneak a video of it this time.

I still have low blood pressure and baby’s heartbeat is strong.

Need to cut down on sugar and start exercising. 

Gestational diabetes test at week 24 to 28.

Week 18 and 19 Italy

Italy!! Now that we're back from Italy I really can't stomach another slice of pizza or pasta for a long time but I really like the philosophy of Italian food (always fresh, local and in season). It's rare to see chain stores in Italy. We saw signs for a McDonalds but they are mostly at the train stations. Everywhere else seem to have just mom and pop shops and restaurants. Anything ethnic that's not Italian is super expensive and we heard not very good/someone got food poisoning. Although Italian restaurants are also expensive. Just sitting down and getting water would probably be 2euro + 2euro cuperto so that's 4euro, like 6 bucks doing nothing! They also look at you weird if you don't order a drink. For breakfast if you order a pastry/coffee and sit down then it costs extra. Naples was the cheapest for eating.

Our trip was Rome - Florence - Naples - Sorrento - Rome

Rome - favourite was Borghese Gallery and the Vatican Museum (Sistine Chapel). The Vatican was so grand, I felt guilty just being there with so much gold covering everything. I was surprised to learn that Michaelangelo was not much of a painter (he was more of a sculptor - David) but the Pope convinced him to paint the Sistine Chapel and it is amazing. Some people are just so naturally talented.

Florence - our favourite city. People are extremely well dressed there. Waiting for the bus at the train station was like watching a runway show happening on the sidewalk. I remember this guy with checkered suit and suit pants. Rina was too shy to take pics. Gelateria dei Neri had amazing gelato. Climbing the Duomo and viewing Florence from the cupola was magical as we caught the sunset. Pino! David's butt! I enjoyed checking out the tiny shops in the narrow streets. There was this honest leather guy who taught us that lamb leather would not be used for bags since it's too weak, so you'll only find purses made of lamb. You can also try to see if the leather comes off on the inside to check if it's bonded leather. Did not like the truffle spread at that famous sandwich shop but it had great porchetta. There were no working washrooms at the train station (seriously??).

Naples - best pizza! We had this really shady moment while getting a shwarma near the train station. This dude came in and called some other dudes who came and just stood at the entrance eyeing us. The workers at the place kept warning us to make sure to keep an eye on our stuff. He mentioned there are some bad people outside. When I asked him is it those people that came in? He said yes. We were a bit spooked but just b-lined it to the train station.

Sorrento - beautiful coastal town. Expensive. Unfortunately rainy most of the time. We got the bus to Amalfi and it was so nauseating. We agreed that going to Positano would have been a better idea since it's about half way in between. We had good lemon cake there and a $20 spaghetti bolognese that we shall not speak of. The visit to Pompeii was really neat. It was good to visit the museum in Naples beforehand because that's where they store the originals of the artifacts found like the huge mosaic at the house of Faun. The city is amazingly preserved. You can still see the murals on the walls and pots in the restaurants. We liked the amphitheater and Rina liked it even more than the Colosseum since it was just us there. It just finished raining so the floor created nice reflection pics. Lots of stray dogs at Pompeii, including one that followed us to the station.

During the 2 weeks I would feel tiny flutters around the tummy area mostly in the morning. They were so small it wasn't really worth mentioning. 

The first morning after we came back I felt a solid kick to the side. That was definitely baby! I got David to feel it and he felt it too. His response was "are you sure you're not tensing your muscles?" I wouldn't even know how to do that in a concentrated area like that. So cool! Too bad Rina missed it. I'll miss her tummy rubs. Her expressions were so priceless.

Week 16 Baby Brain

This week was the attack of the baby brain. 

I managed to knock a glass tumbler to the floor, the glass bottle containing the rice fell to pieces when I went to get the cereal behind it, and the pestle somehow smashed to pieces on the counter. 

David also managed to add one to the list by dropping the glass container of momofuku pork I made.

Maybe glass is not a good idea…