Week 13

There were several days this week where I’d get headaches that won’t go away after sleeping. The skin around my mouth is incredibly dry and I have to scrub it away every morning, which leaves red patches. I also have very vivid dreams. I woke up at 3:41 am because I fell off a mountain and was just about the hit the rock and die. I was trying to take a good picture of the scenery with my phone but the wind picked me up and threw me at the rock. Strangely enough there were other people at the rock position so I shouldn’t really die but anyway I had trouble getting back to sleep after that. I had another dream where we brought a baby home and it was in a basket. I took the blanket off to examine the sex of the baby and it was a boy. David said the baby had an abnormal head. I was afraid that would mean it had down syndrome.

Second trimester is supposed to be the one that’s least nauseating but I feel worse. I think my pants are starting not to fit comfortably anymore. Next week is the last few days before Christmas holidays and I’m planning to tell my boss what’s been going on. At least it gives some explanation to my emotional roller coaster at work.

The code name for the baby is Xor.

Week 12

We heard the heart beats! The midwife applied some aloe vera lotion on my belly and felt for the top of the uterus. Then applied a sonar device to amplify the tiny thump thumps. It was so amazing and reassuring to know that there's something there. 

http://goo.gl/dy3D2i

Also on the same day I woke up at 4am and felt really weird. I couldn't fall asleep and debated whether to join the studio crew at work since they were laying down the new turf that was late. I decided it might wake up David if I got ready so got up and drank some water with some bread instead. Almost immediately I had this sudden feeling and puked everything up. Normally you feel the burn of the stomach acid down your throat but I guess most of it was water so it didn't feel too bad. I was able to sleep after that.

Young and Beautiful

This is the last time I'd have the body I've had for about 10 years. Will I feel more beautiful after having a child or reminisce the time when I had a flat stomach? I remember admiring my Grade 10 gym teacher's abs after learning she had a son. Perhaps I'll be more motivated to be in shape. 

Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful. 

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul?

I know you will, I know you will, I know that you wiiiiilllllll.

Week 9 Day 2

A new baby! A new hope?

The doctor advised to wait 3 months before trying again but said we can try again as soon as 1 month if we're up for it. We were up for it!

During the weeks I was waiting and wondering, I often rolled out of bed in the middle of the night to pee. Originally I attributed that to pregnancy but after getting negative test results I put that in the normal category. In the end I realized that sore and tender breasts were a better sign. 

We went to a wedding recently and I was suspecting, so only had a few sips of champagne to be polite. When we got back I took a test and it was positive! D and I were happy and hugged but for me I was afraid to be happy. What if this all ends in sadness again? Maybe it's not worth the emotional investment until it's more of a sure thing. It seemed logical. I am a robot. 

That was week 6. It's now week 9. 

• I'm feeling nauseous all the time, especially at night. This makes it harder to eat or do anything. Naan and apples taste good.
• Peeing two times a night instead of one. Dreams are more vivid.
• My sense of smell has immensely heightened. I feel like wolverine except most smells put me off. 
• My breasts feel bigger and I read that they could go up two sizes during the pregnancy. They're not overflowing my bra yet but do fill more full so I guess I'll wait some more. 
• My tummy does feel fatter but it's probably due to bloating more than anything else. Perhaps we should start taking pictures soon.
• Week 9 to 12 is when you can take the first genetic testing for down syndrome. I don't want to take it because it doesn't change anything and I don't need the emotional roller-coaster. D wants it so we're still undecided. 

Week None

Had 4 days of period like passing. Sad but thankful it wasn't worse.

Read a lot of miscarriage stories and it can be quite traumatic. My heart goes out to all women who experience something like this. 

Week 6 Day 4

Had some light spotting yesterday but didn't think too much of it (apparently it's common after sex while you're pregnant). Today was something different. 

When I went to the washroom it was like I was on my period, I was dispelling maybe 3 or 4 inches of tissue/blood clots and it happened twice within 10 mins. I was really alarmed. 

Luckily there is a 24 hour nurses hotline in BC (811) and I described my symptoms. She asked me lots of questions:

• Do I have a fever/blurred vision/nausea/vomiting? no
• Do I have cramps? mild
• Do I have light (spotting), moderate, or heavy (fill a pad in an hour)? moderate (apparently you should go to the hospital if it's heavy)

In the end the recommendation was to go to a walk-in as soon as possible. Since it was late, I should just monitor it. It probably is a miscarriage and if it is, it usually takes a few days to dispel everything. You need to see the doctor to make sure you get rid of everything because if there's stuff left over you could get an infection.

I felt calm about it all but definitely started crying after I hung up. It was the hardest to share with D about the fact that I might have miscarried just now. 

Week 5

Now it's time for some research! It's well known you should not tell people you're pregnant until you're past your first trimester incase you have a miscarriage (apparently the fate of 1 in 8). However I had no idea how long a trimester would be.

First Trimester: Starts with the first day of your last period and ends with the last day of the 13th week thereafter.

Second Trimester: Week 14 to last day of 27th week

Third Trimester: Week 27 to week 40

So basically you only have a baby for 38 weeks since 2 of them are your menstrual and ovulation periods.

Checkup

Had a checkup at the walk-in and was given a slip for blood tests and an ultrasound. Asked me when was the first day of my last period (May 17th) and was given a due date of (Feb 24th). 

Q: Does my diet change?

A: Eat normally (not a great answer but I'm a super healthy eater so I already know to stay away from high mercury fish etc). Take a prenatal vitamin (which I was already doing and you should be doing this a month before you try to get pregnant). Don't smoke and don't drink.

Q: Can you still have sex?

A: Yes unless you have a history of miscarriages because when you have an orgasm your uterus pulsates. 

Q: Can I still play soccer?

A: Mild exercise is ok. You should probably not play especially if there's a chance of getting hit in the uterus area.

Blood Test

The nurse prepared 6 vials for the blood tests and it looked like a lot but apparently each one is only filled half full which is about 5ml of blood, so they're only taking 2 tablespoons worth. Could have fooled me! 

Ultrasound

No point having an ultrasound until you're beyond 8 weeks. The instructions for ultrasounds are to not pee for 3 hours prior to your appointment and to drink 4 glasses of water 2 hours prior to your appointment. Last time I followed these instructions, I decided no human being can hold it in for that long. It takes me about 40mins to process the water and would then really need to pee. 

I asked about this when I made the appointment and she said the point is to come with a really full bladder so however long it takes you for that, that's what you should follow. 

Work

They recently painted the walls and the paint fumes were really strong. I found a computer downstairs and decided to move down temporarily and just remote into my computer upstairs until the smell dissipates.

Week 4

My period is always on time, give or take a day, so after being late for 4 days, the symptoms I have been experiencing for the past week all added up: tender breasts, always thirsty, and trips to the bathroom at night.

I decided to take a pregnancy test anyway fearing that the doctor will not be very impressed with my "because I know" reasons. Since I was almost 100% sure, I picked the cheapest test and also learnt that most tests are only effective a week after your would-be period.

I also picked out a card for D to tell him the good news! It had a green felt cover that said "Holy Guacamole!". When you open it there's a picture of a swaddled baby that said "You made a cute burrito". Mexican food is D's favourite cuisine so this was perfect.

My sister-in-law was in town with her family so D was spending time with them. This gave me the opportunity I needed to take the test and braced myself for the pregnancy lines. Sure enough I was positive. I filled in the card and put it in our mailbox and wondered how long it would take before D would check the mail again. Although I was more worried he'd recognize my handwriting...

Card Found

D checked the mail the next day. He was expecting a rebate for one of his computer parts. 

I came home to find him napping and saw that the card was open on the side table and just had to wake him with kisses.

Smiles, hugs and high fives!

"My sperm works!"

"My egg works!"

We couldn't stop beaming at each other. :)